I think I’m supposed to like this girl. Kreayshawn is a female rapper coming straight from East Oakland (represent?!). She boasts of beating the boyz at their own game, and from what I see, she seems to hold her own. She’s not all about the “Gucci, Gucci,” or the Prada, but in numerous interviews (while looking like the white offspring of Salt N’ Peppa), prides herself on being original—an O.G.

I can dig that, but I can’t seem to dig her.

Kreayshawn has a sort of swagger that is popular amongst the 14-early 20s crowd. She shops at thrift stores (I like thrift stores), she wears big-ass glasses (mine are prescription), and she doesn’t give a fuck about anything except weed, and drinking (this is where our similarities end).

I can critique her sound, but that’s expected (though, I can get down with some “Gucci, Gucci”). And, really, that’s not where my disappointment lies. It’s her swagger.

She carries herself as if she’s a Boss—a girl from the projects who’s doin’ her thang; the ghetto white girl who’s misunderstood and more complicated than what meets the eye. As quoted from her website, she’s bringing “Nothing but unfiltered pain and torture I received as a child in the cold world. Nothing’s nice about my style. I just got s**t to do. Art is my means to my hustle. I just wanna share everything with everyone.”

She’s a tortured soul needing the creative space to flourish; a rose rising out of concrete.

During interviews, however, all I see and hear is bleak asphalt.

When she’s rapping, I can buy into her bad-ass, nothin’-but-hood persona. Being a rapper is all about the art of switching in and out of the person you’ve created, and the person you are. But when Kreayshawn is interviewed, you realize that the person rapping is actually more interesting than the person being interviewed.

When asked what historical figures she identifies with, she said, “Hmmm. Yo, I fuck with Shakespeare… He’s pretty historical, you know, and he’s a poet, and he’s a director of plays. You know, he was really creative; he had his swag.”

Ummm, yes, Kreayshawn, I did know that Shakespeare was a poet and directed his own plays. And, yes, I would agree that he had some swag…

When asked, “What makes a B*tch real?” (the interviewer needs to get cut), she answered, “She’s gotta drink… she’s gotta smoke weed (pause) ‘cuz if she don’t, we’re not even on the same plane. You know what I’m sayin’.”

Right. OK.

It’s not that I expected her to quote Shakespeare, or to even be profound, but I wasn’t expecting such vacancy. I guess I just thought that someone who chooses to wear Minnie ears for their debut music video would be more interesting (sigh).

I’ve been told my expectations for people are too high (this could be true), but when there are only a handful of women rappers in the game, I guess I expected her to bring something for me to work with, and weed, her version of Shakespeare, along with her Minnie Mouse ears just aren’t O.G. enough for me.

But, hey—Colombia signed her, and we know what that means. Ke$ha’s not alone in this white girl “rapping” game, and as one blogger wrote: “White folks will love it and they will buy it. To the record companies, that’s all that matters.”

Shit.